#215 Fan Mail to Lord, Part 12

Piff: Ooh, fan mail!

I like fan mail.

...

Let’s read some!

Fan mail: “Hi Sir, what should I do with my neighbours? They seem to be constantly banging on my door.”
Piff: Staring at them from the window is very effective. I have personally found out that by using this classic method, it takes only about 600 days to make them stop.

Fan mail: “If the current lord has a family, do they come into the Stately Building too?”
Piff: Usually no, since most of the previous lords’ careers are so short-lived. But not in my case!

...

When I decided to become the lord I told my hubby to haul his skinny butt up here with me.

He just kept snoring.

I’ll need to send him a message to tell him to come and bring the kids...

Fan mail: “Also how many levels are there in the Stately Building and have you been in them all? Thank you!”
Piff: I counted 2056 floors while climbing... and I’m pretty sure that’s at least a thousand too many. It’s so confusing when half of the floors are upside down and some portals take you back to the beginning!

Fan mail: “After you are kicked out of being Lord Of The Realm, where do you go? back to your regular life, or are you considered a hobo?”
Piff: It’s kind of rude to assume I would get kicked out.

Anyway, if I do I guess it’s back to writing poetry.

Fan mail: “My brother, a Big Snow Owl is marching towards your tower! He has already overthrown 99 Piffs, and you are going to be the jubilee one!”
Piff: Not in my case!

I’m not afr...

*big snow owl holding lord in the air by the crown*
HALP!

Pigeon: I deliver some mail once. It went okay.
Narration: Get your fan mail delivered... today!