#227 Fan Mail to Lord, Part 13

October 30, 2020
When in doubt, ask a Lord for advice.

Transcript

Piff: ...

...

...

...what are you staring at?
...I’m trying to read fan mail here...

Fan mail: Lord of the Realm, please help us! We have a plague of tiny spiders waving spooky comics around! They're intelligent so we can't eat them - food that talks is not food. What do you suggest we do???
Piff: ...I hereby declare all intelligent spiders to be brought to me.

...I need them for...

...entertainment.

...tell them that I’m...

...recruiting.

Fan mail: Lord, do your people have Healing Magic? It is among the trickiest of all the spellcrafting arts, as it has to work with Nature and Life. Not like throwing fireballs, ohoho!
Piff: ...I’m sorry, such things are beyond me...

...I only dabble in the...

...dark arts.

*image of Piff’s eyes shining from the darkness*

...ho ho ho...

Fan mail: Who painted the Royal Portrait when the boulder was the Piff? Was it a very famous artist?
Piff: ...the Boulder Lord’s sturdy visage was drawn over two nights and three days...

...by a plethora of young and spirited Paint-bearers...

...alas, they are no more...

...

...most quit afterwards and never touched a brush again...

Fan mail: Also, if a Piff is deposed but then becomes Piff again, does she get two portraits?
*image of Piff with two identical portraits behind him*

Piff: ...yes.

Fan mail: Regarding getting multiple portraits for being Piff more than once, do Piffs ever become Piff just to start a portrait collection?
*image of Piff with a pile of identical portraits behind him*

Piff: ...yes.

Fan mail: P.S. my neighbor keeps me up with karaoke. Can you make a law so that only good singers are allowed to do Karaoke when I'm trying to sleep?
Piff: ...

...it is done.

...goodbye...

...Karaoke...

Fan mail: This letter is just to keep the pigeon employed. P.S. Don't tell the pigeon.
...my beak is tied.

...eternally...

Fan mail: Dear Piff, I love you.
Piff: ...

...

...thanks.

*Piff is smiling*

The pigeons are scared! But they keep doing their best! Send more fan mail!

“Hello. Did you know you can be an official citizen of Buffet?”

Tell me more!
Gheralf

Gheralf says:

...

Who is this Karaoke?

Never mind. They're banned from everywhere now.

Vayandil

Vayandil says:

All those portraits look eerily similar. I guess Piff loves that particular pose.

Big Sister

Big Sister says:

No, children, those are the last year's comics! You were supposed to take these new billboards and go spread the word about this year's Kickstarter!

Ugh! I guess I have to do the advertising myself:


This year’s SpiderForest Anthology Kickstarter is live! The book consists of 17 stand-alone stories by the SpiderForest members. Including a comic called Blueberry Heaven from Gheralf and Vayandil (no silly owl people story this time, but there's a boreal owl flapping around). Consider backing this peppy printing project! The campaign ends on Friday the 13th! *ominous oo-ing*