#353 Lordish Secretary Listens

March 24, 2023
Listening is not part of her job, but sometimes one has to go beyond their duty.


Lordish Secretary sits and listens to Das Attendant's speech while snacking on roasted bugs. A pigeon is sitting on her head.
Introduction: Bellif Distra - Lordish Secretary
Das Attendant: “Das Law needs to be moved! Can you believe that?!”

Zoom in a little closer to the Secretary. She throws a bug into her mouth. The pigeon takes interest in one of Das Attendant's speech balloons.
Das Attendant: “This is a historical moment! Never before seen in the history of Das Attendants! And I get to do it! It’s so incredible! But then I realized...”

Zoom in closer still to the Secretary. She calmly crunches the bug between her beak, as the pigeon is getting crunched between invasive speech balloons.
Das Attendant: “There’s so many notes! You know what it looks like! I never imagined I’d have to move it! I just had to keep it readable! What if something goes wrong while I’m packing it?! If one of the strings comes loose and I can’t remember where it was attached?! Or I… lose some of the notes?! What if I topple and the rats and pigeons devour the entire thing in their grubby little mouths?!”

Lordish Secretary stands up, dropping the poor crunched pigeon off her head.
Lordish Secretary: "Eh wot, let’s have a look at what we can do, then."

Stygian Lord

Stygian Lord says:

You may wonder why the Lordish Secretary has been kept a secret from you readers for all this time. Is she someone special? A secret weapon? A part of the Dark History of Buffet?

Not really. (Although she does regularly practice using that halberd in her office space.)

The history nuts who run this site have tried to interview Bellif multiple times, but she’s always told them to “sod off”.