#365 Sharpie Rejected

June 16, 2023
Poor Sharpie.

Transcript

Extreme closeup of Sharpie the detective's tired face. One by one, ever-changing off-panel Lords of the Realm make excuses why they cannot sign a paper.
Lord of the Realm 1: “Not right now.”
Lord of the Realm 2: “Where’s my fan mail?!”
Lord of the Realm 3: “I don’t wanna.”
Lord of the Realm 4: “I can’t write!”

Camera zooms out of Sharpie's face, revealing his hands holding out a document and a pencil (called writing stick in this world). The bottom part of the document is waiting for a signature from the Lord of the Realm.
Lord of the Realm 5: “I can’t sign that!”
Lord of the Realm 6: “Ask me later.”
Lord of the Realm 7: “Okay, let me just–ARGHARGHAGRH!”
Lord of the Realm 8: “The trapdoor! Quickly!”
Lord of the Realm 9: “Is that a banana on the wall?”
Lord of the Realm 10: “The crown won’t fit on my head!”
Lord of the Realm 11: “I don’t have the time right now.”

Camera zooms out even further from Sharpie, making him look tiny and alone.
Lord of the Realm 12: “Is that a woodless writing stick? I refuse to touch anything with wood in it.”
Lord of the Realm 13: “I’m too tired.”
Lord of the Realm 14: “Can I write my law on that?”
Lord of the Realm 15: “AHAHAHA! I’M THE LORD OF THE REALM!”
Lord of the Realm 16: “Why you sneaky little–!”
Lord of the Realm 17: “Couldn’t you sign it for me?”
Lord of the Realm 18: “FOOOORRRMMMS!!”

Stygian Lord

Stygian Lord says:

Are you winning yet, Sharpie?

To be completely honest, I was expecting him to have managed something by now. It’s almost baffling how utterly out of his element he is with this.