#479 Fan Mail to Lord, Part 19

Piff: About time! The previous lords never managed to accomplish anything! I’ll make sure I put this power to good use!

Fan Mail: This guy just stomped my garden and made all my flowers run away! I didn’t even know that was possible! Please call for a recall for any and all runaway flowers!
Piff: Fear not, citizen! I’ve dispatched a dozen guards to catch those flowers and tuck them back into your soil!

Fan Mail: My house had a person-shaped hole this morning. What is going on? Please send fixers asap.
Piff: No worries, citizen! I’ve dispatched a dozen guards to look for tools and then find you and your person-shaped hole! And then fix it!

Fan Mail: TORNAAADOOOOOOOO!
Piff: Don’t worry, citizen! I’ve dispatched a dozen guards to pray for your safe landing!

Fan Mail: Report from beyond the swamp: it’s slightly dustier than usual.
Piff: Unacceptable! I’ve dispatched a dozen guards to check out the situation! And to measure if it’s actually dustier or not. (It’ll determine the amount of compensation you’re eligible to receive!)

Fan Mail: I saw a guy haul a greater owl into a tree. I tried drawing it. Enjoy.
Piff: Fine work, citizen! I’ve dispatched a dozen guards to find a wall to hang it onto!

Fan Mail: Lord of the Realm, you are running out of time! There’s a mad fake Lord on the loose called the ‘Mad Lord of Magic’.
Piff: Aha! Thanks for the info! But fear not, citizen! I have one more dozen guards ready to handle this!

Fan Mail: It is very important not to block him on his journeys as this seems to trigger his powers - he can do a bunch of stuff including turning people to stone!
Piff: No blocking? Hmm. That makes things complicated. That’s the guards’ specialty...


Fan Mail: Now would be an excellent time to ask the Aviatar for help, as he seems to know about the Magic user’s crown - something about it ‘cracking’. Good luck!
Piff: Brilliant thinking, citizen! I shall send these dozen guards to fetch the Aviatar! Good thing I know exactly where he is! Guards! To the bottom of the tower!

Fan Mail: How do you tell if a portrait artist drawing you is really a Royal Artist or if they’re secretly an Aspiring Piff trying to gain the throne?
Piff: WHAT?! Hmmmmm...
Piff: Which one of you is it?! Reveal yourself!
Aspiring Piff: It’s me!
Piff: So it’s you!
Aspiring Piff: Have at you!
Piff: No, you!
???: EAAARGH!

Pigeon: The Piff has changed. But don’t worry, the pigeons will always be here for you.